Question : A question was asked regarding the need to be fair to one’s children regarding the giving of presents.

Fatwa in Brief: It is obligatory [to give to all children equally]. Preferring one child over another is prohibited. This is on the basis of the hadith attributed to al-Nu‘man ibn Bashir, who said: “Do not make me a witness for injustice. Your children have the right to be treated fairly”.

The Permanent Committee, 16/192-194

Response:

When distributing money amongst one’s children, it is disliked, rather than prohibited, to prefer one child above another, according to the majority of scholars. If there is a good reason for doing so, however, then it is not even disliked.

Commentary:

The scholars of the [Sunni] four schools agree that it is legally disliked for parents to favour one child above others, in terms of the money they receive [as a gift]. According to Abu Hanifa and Shafi‘i, such preference is not prohibited, however. Imam Malik also rules that is permitted for a man to give more of his money to some children above others. According to Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, any form of preference is forbidden; and doing so is to neglect one’s role as a parent.

The best opinion in this matter is that of the majority, though this must apply under the condition that there is a clear reason for giving one/some children more money than the others. [Despite this Imam’s view] The Hanbalis also ascribe to this opinion. Thus, in the Chapter of Gifts in al-Mughni, Ibn Qudama observes:

If he [the father] singles out one of them for a reason – because s/he is in need, or chronically ill, or blind, or has a large family, or because s/he is preoccupied with seeking knowledge, or for any other [equally good] reason – this [giving more money to a specific child] is permitted. Likewise, if he refrains from giving to one of them because s/he is an evildoer or an innovator, or because s/he will use this money to disobey God, or to deny the rights of the parents, then this too is permitted.[1]